


I Just Can't Stand The Thought Of Losing You

by KazsSunglasses



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Reader-Insert, Self-Harm, self indulgent trash im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 22:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7952065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KazsSunglasses/pseuds/KazsSunglasses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just as you and Jesse are about to take a small vacation, he finds out the secrets you've been hiding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Just Can't Stand The Thought Of Losing You

**Author's Note:**

> This is very self indulgent trash, I'm sorry. I also haven't written any fics in years, please be gentle with any criticisms. I didn't edit this, I wrote it in one sitting, so let me know if there are any glaring mistakes!

After what seemed like an endless number of months working with Overwatch, Jesse decided it was time both of you took a small vacation. The stress of being faced with near-death situations constantly could quickly tire anyone out. Even more so for you, was the immense pressure to perform at your very best. Even though some of the agents, like 76 or Reinhardt had years of experience on you, you felt the need to out-perform them to prove yourself. For as long as you could remember, it wasn’t just physical war you were enduring—even after stepping off of the battle field, you were always still at war with yourself. Luckily, everyone was so busy most of the time, that hiding any signs of your distress was effortless. Until now.

You and Jesse had finally made it home after the day’s events—just in time for a quick shower before heading off to bed. 

As he stepped into the bathroom, Jesse peeked his head around the corner and called out to you “I’ll be done real soon, darlin’. Before we hit the hay we can figure out where we wanna go fer vacation.”

‘Perfect’, you thought. By the time you finished in the shower, Jesse would be far too tired to notice anything was wrong (as usual). Despite being on vacation for the next few days, there was still a nagging voice in your mind, trying to bring you down. You gathered some fresh clothes and a towel and hesitated. Running your fingers over the fading red lines on your thigh, you contemplated whether you should cut one more time before leaving. After all, there’d be no unexpected trips to the med team due to combat reasons. 

While you were deep in thought, Jesse had finished in the shower, and stepped back into the bedroom. “Shower’s all yours babe! I’ll be waitin’ on ya, so we can decide where we’re goin’ tomorrow!” 

You jumped a bit, caught off guard by Jesse’s presence. “Oh—I, yeah. Yeah, I’ll hurry.” You stepped over to him and kissed him before locking yourself in the bathroom. You turned on the water, and quietly opened the cabinet to retrieve your blade. Again, you hesitated, knowing full well that you shouldn’t be doing this. Regardless, you quickly slid the small piece of metal over your skin 8 or 9 times. You watched the blood start to bead up on your skin, and waited for the relief of the stinging sensation it brought. Silently, you returned the blade to its hiding spot and proceeded to shower. 

After you finished getting dressed, you checked your thigh again before going back out into the bedroom. Your skin looked irritated, with obvious red lines covering a rather large area. They weren’t bleeding though, which meant they could be easily hidden by a pair of athletic shorts. 

As soon as you opened the door, Jesse was nearly bursting with excitement. “I’ve got just the place for us to go!!!” he nearly shouted. 

“Yeah, is that so? Why don’t we lay down, then you can tell me all about it,” you said, obviously tired. You both got cozy under the covers, and you laid your head down on Jesse’s chest as you wrapped an arm around his torso. “So what’s your grand vacation scheme, Jesse? A ski resort maybe, or perhaps some international sightseeing?”

“Even better, darlin’!” Jesse said, obviously proud of his travel planning. “We’re gonna rent a beach house on one of them touristy islands! Just you, me, an the ocean. How’s it sound, great right?” 

Jesse was beaming, but you froze instantly. “A… a beach house? Just you, me, and the ocean…? Jesse, I don’t… are you sure?” 

“Babe, of course I’m sure! We’ll have tons of privacy, we won’t have to worry about wakin’ up early to go on tours, plus I can see you in a cute lil’ swimsuit.” 

There it was, your perfect out. “Jesse, that’s why I don’t want to go to a beach house. I just don’t feel comfortable in a swim suit, I don’t like the way they make my legs look…” You silently hoped Jesse would buy your excuse and suggest an alternative. You tightened your grip around his waist and hid your face a bit, hoping it would help persuade him. 

Jesse tilted your head up to look you directly in the eyes. “Darlin’ that’s the biggest bunch of nonsense that I’ve ever heard. You’d look absolutely perfect, I know it. And besides, yer legs are absolutely stunnin’.” He squeezed your leg in an attempt to be reassuring. Little did he know, it was right on top of your fresh cuts from earlier. 

“Ahhhh, Jesse, that hurts!” You instinctively jumped back a bit, and your hand hovered above your thigh.

“Babe, I’m sorry! I barely squeezed, did you get hurt today??” Jesse sat up quickly and started to reach for your leg again. 

“Jesse, no, stop, please! Nothing’s wrong I promise, I just… uh…” You started to panic. The last thing you needed right now was Jesse finding out about all of your problems right before going on vacation. 

“What’s goin’ on, (y/n)? You sure are actin’ awful strange. If you got hurt today, we shoulda stopped by to get it checked out by the med team, let me see what’s goin’ on.” Jesse started to slide your shorts up, and you knew there was no stopping him. As the cuts became visible, Jesse seemed to be at a loss for words. He looked you in the eyes with hurt on his face, and you couldn’t help but look away. “Darlin’, you did this to yourself? What’s the matter, I didn’t even know anything was wrong…”

Jesse was obviously hurt, which was half of the reason you decided to hide it from him in the first place. “Jesse, I’m sorry. Overwatch has just put so much pressure on me, and I’m always worried that I’ll let everyone down. It’s just easier to do this to deal with all of that. I didn’t want to bother anyone with my stupid insecurities, but I also didn’t want anyone to find out I’ve been cutting…”

Jesse held you close in his arms and ran his fingers through your hair. “You wouldn’t be botherin’ anyone, babe. I love you so much, and I couldn’t stand the thought of losin’ you. What if things had gotten worse… What if you…” his voice started to get shaky, and you instantly felt guilty. “Darlin’ if you died I don’t know what I’d do with myself. I love you (y/n).” 

“Jesse, I would never… At least.. I don’t think I would… But I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn't tell you, sorry I did it, hell, I’m sorry that I’m so fucked up in the head that I felt the need to do it. I don’t want you to have to worry about me.” You squeezed Jesse and rested your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was still much faster than normal. “Jesse, we should really try to get some rest. We’ll both feel better in the morning.”

“You’re right darlin.” He laid back down and pulled you on top of him, rubbing your back soothingly. “If it’s okay with you, maybe we should just stay home for our vacation. No need to add anymore stress, right?” 

“Definitely. The free time alone should be enough to let us relax a bit. Now let’s get some rest. Love you, Jesse.” 

He kissed you before turning off the lamp on the bedside table. “Love you too, (y/n). We’re gonna get through this together.”


End file.
